Sleepless

It's 3am on a Tuesday and I'm up. I've had this cold for several days now and finally was able to get some medicine that works last night. The first good night sleep that I've had since Friday, so I thought I was on the right track. Not so fast my friend. I'm back at it. Not only is my mind racing, but its windy as hell which isn't helping things. I need for it to be quiet until I fall asleep and this wind is fierce tonight. However, it's my mind that keeping me up. I'm sure of it. I'm thinking about work. About work missed. About my manager, my team. About what they are thinking. About what effect me being out will have on them...how they're feeling. I don't like calling off. It's not something that I do when it's not necessary, so I really shouldn't be that concerned but I am. If I call off today, it will be 3 1/2 days....big fucking deal right? I wish I could make myself believe that. So, I'm up trying to make myself believe. Trying to convince myself that my health comes before work. That I can take one more sick day. That it doesn't matter what my co-workers think because when I'm there I get shit done!

I've taken two doses of cough syrup with co dine and still no sleep. WOW...

In addition to still being sick, today is my wife's birthday....why am I so worried about work? I should just use my doctors note and call it a day. He gave me until Thursday. Why not use it. A friend told me that if I die tonight, work would still be there tomorrow....going on without me.

Guess we'll see what happens.

Peace.