Damn it, Man

My wife went to buy some make-up this weekend. The first trip didn't result in a look that she nor I liked, so we went to the spot together the next day. This time the make-up artist got it right. And my wife looked like a million bucks. Now me being a man, I want to fuck all the time...regardless of how she looks(just about regardless of how she looks), but with this new make-up she's HOT. I can't stop complementing her on how good she looks. She's liking the new look herself.
She picks out a sexy little dress to wear to work, and looks better today than yesterday. I tell her before I leave the house how good she looks. I send emails telling her how much I'd been thinking about her, and how much I loved her with this make-up on. She let me know she liked it, and I could tell she was more confident.
I continue to compliment her...because I truly am in aw. Telling her how I can't wait to see her after work, how I want to get under her dress. She's seemingly going along with my advances, but please be advised that any conversation regarding anything sexual while at work is simply talk to her. NOTHING ever sticks. No matter how many suggestions I make, I'm rarely successful in putting her in the 'mood'. To the point where it's almost not worth the effort...
Anyway, back to today. I'm so smitten, I send flowers to her job. A nice little bouquet of something..she gets them and says how sweet I am and how much she loves and appreciates me. Those things are good, but I'm looking to get some pussy! So, I send the flowers. I cook dinner, do a load of laundry, put up some laundry, take her nail polish off. Not because I expect something, but because those are things I do because they need to be done. Thing is earlier today on the elevator a co-worker is complaining to me about how she's got to go home and do this and that. To which I say, oh...I do x,y,z. She's like can I clone you. My husband doesn't do anything around the house. I know this to be true of most men, cause hey I'm a man. But again, I do thing because they are necessary and I would never want the entire burden of maintaining a home to fall on the shoulders of my wife.
I digress...
The point is that throughout the day I thought I was laying plans to get some pussy. She's talking about putting the dress back on after her shower, so I can get under it. She's talking about 'you must really want some' referring to the flowers. By 7, I know there's no sex in the plans for tonight...like too many other nights. And I can't understand. And I try. I've gotten a book, I look online for reasons and remedies, I try talking to her about what I need. Nothing clicks. She doesn't understand. Doesn't understand the rejection. Doesn't understand the longing. Doesn't understand the desire. Doesn't understand the need. Doesn't understand the want. Doesn't understand that sex is something a 27 year old man needs. And I understand that she's tired. I understand that the meds may be the cause. I understand that she doesn't want to as much. I understand that she's critical of herself regarding this(or so she says). I understand that she wishes her desire was greater.
And all this damn understanding leaves me pissed, cause I feel like I should be able to get some fucking pussy when I want!
And I'm writing just to get this shit out, so I don't fucking wake her up and go off. So I don't go to sleep mad.

So, in case you've missed it. I've got a hot wife, hows even hotter with this new make-up and confidence that goes along with it. But she doesn't want to sleep with me. How can a man not begin to think 'it's got to be me'. Maybe I'm not pleasing her? Makes sense..I wouldn't want to do something all the time I don't enjoy, but she swears this isn't it. THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM! Doesn't the bible say something about your wife and sex? Why don't we follow that fucking rule!!!! Why do I have to suffer, because I'm a man and should just have to deal with it. Why shouldn't I be able to fulfill my sexual needs...with or without my wife, if she's not willing or is unable. What the fuck do I do? In my relationship sex is expendable...not treated as a necessity. Not treated as a vital part of the relationship.



Fun in the Sun

This time next week, I'll probably be in bed. Resting up for an early trip to the airport with my sights set on sunny Florida. Our friends are getting married on the beach...Cocoa Beach! We can't wait. The wedding is on the 13th, we'll get the on the 11th. Our anniversary is the 7th so it's kinda like our anniversary gift to each other/vacation. I can't wait!
We've been trying to prepare some this week with little success. So like every other person who readies for a trip, we'll be doing the last minute thing...so I'll probably end up not sleeping at all come this time next week. I've been making lists of what I think we need: lotion, sunscreen, condoms, toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo, did I say condoms? I'm hoping FL brings out the freak in my wife, we'll see what happens. I've been throwing hints her way, but doesn't seem like she's taking the bait. Not at this point anyway...let me stop talking about it so I don't get my hopes up and get disappointed. Wouldn't you hate to be disappointed while in sunny FL?

The opportunity to go to FL is a blessing. We've saved our money, and luckily wifey knows someone who used to work at the airport, so we got buddy passes. I've been to FL once before, but it wasn't that great of an experience. It was Black Beach or the Black College Reunion. Whatever the title, it was CRAZY. Boys and Girls acting a damn fool, plus I was sooooooooooooo high the whole time, I don't remember much. Just trying to get my dude out of jail cause he had some herb on him. I think that's how we spent most of the time. Oh, and I remember there were about 10 dudes to a room! Cats sleeping on the floor, 3-4 to a bed. CRAZY. And the women...no way were any of those ho's touching me. No thanks to a girl who found being groped all day by packs of young men fun.

Traveling reminds me of a time my family went to Atlanta. I was probably 14-15, and my cousin had gotten a job at the Hyatt or some fancy hotel. She put us up in a really nice room with a wonderful view. While looking out over Atlanta, I thought to myself...this is something that every kid should have the opportunity to experience. A nice hotel, and the opportunity to see something different in the world. Every trip provides something different. Another way of life, different culture, different ways of talking, thinking, drinking, partying. Experience is the best teacher without a doubt. And I'm on the verge of another experience. Can't wait to learn something.

I'll leave you with this...I think I'm going to put it on a tshirt. 'If you aren't SMART, then you are DUMB' sums it up don't you think?