Oh, snap!

Reading is fundamental....I came across something that I really needed to see this evening while looking for some information to share with my business partner, Kiesha. So, I'm looking through several web sites, getting some information here and there. Then I hit the jackpot! The jackpot for what I needed...it was an article with a q&a with some sneaker boutique owner. Just regular cats answering some basic questions like regular cats. Not so formal and in words and or actions that I could DIRECTLY relate to. Not something out of a book, but real life experiences. Yeah, do this. No don't do that. Maybe try this and see how it works for you. But the underlying and undeniable message was to follow your dreams! Do what the fuck you want to do and do it well. Shit is going to be some work, but it's okay when you are working for yourself! There is alot of things you wouldn't do for you boss. Nothing you wouldn't do for yourself.....WOW!

I gotta do this. I gotta go get some of this money. I gotta spend my time working doing something I love.

'firm disbeliever in your punch clock logic'-Lupe Fiasco



You can't be serious

On the Friday before Christmas, the lovely agency I work for confirmed that employees such as myself would not receive a raise or bonus this year because of the county's inability to manage money. We knew it was coming, but the official notice right before Christmas was a blow to the gut. But, life goes on. And you keep working cause that's what you have to do in order to provide, right?
Well, in all this my assumption was that a raise for any county employee in any department would be put on hold. I know that HCJFS is looked at as the scum of the earth, but we provide services for this communities most needy people....anyway, the fact that we wouldn't be getting fair compensation for what we do came as no surprise.
Then comes today....and wouldn't you know it. The director of our lovely agency has received a pay increase of close to 50%. Yes, 50%. She now makes $145k a year. Now under normal circumstance I would applaud this. Not right now. Not when your employee's have been told to continue doing what you're doing and hopefully in the next year or so you might be compinsated. How do you, as the director, even accept a pay increase when the county can't provide it to the people that make this ship run? Leaders in my estimation lead by example. They lead side by side with their men and women. This is a slap in the face of all of HCJFS employees. A blatent backhand of disrespect and unjustifiable!
Whatever her salary might have been prior, or how it compared to other agency directors is none of my concern. The bottom line is that she has chosen to accept something that the rest of us were prohibited from. Fuck her, this city, this county and this state. I hate OHIO and I hate working for someone else. This simply fuels my fire even more to go out here and make something for myself. A place where I can treat people with respect and not insult them by fattening my pockets while they are left out in the cold......



Take your time and hurry up

It's time to create a course of action concerning the business. We've been reading and trying to find out information...do research, but I think we need to become more guided. More detailed. I plan on meeting with Kiesha this weekend to talk about our progress, by then I should be able to create a list of things we need to due & by when. We need deadlines. If I don't have a deadline(and even when I do) I tend to procrastinate. Not this time! Not with this! I'm putting shit in motion on this, while the fire is starting. I will not let the fire dim, but continue to feed it until it is at it's hottest. And then maintain it so that it burns forever. This is it. Something for me. Something that I want. Unrelated to the wants/needs/ideas of anyone else. It shall be my triumph or failure. Each of which life will present to me. My current mind state is such that I'm no longer afraid to fail. Because not knowing is far worse than failure. I may have failures during the process of opening a business, as a matter of fact, I am certain that I will have failures during this process. But I am not afraid. I am looking forward to them. Looking forward to learning. To building. To creating something that will be a source of love, peace and happiness(MONEY TOO.)
Starting tomorrow, I will be going to the library to get work done. If I come home, I won't do it. I will put it aside for tomorrow. TOMORROW IS TODAY! I realize that working at this, in some way, everyday if what is going to be needed. This will become my second full time job. I must take advantage of the motivation that GOD has sent to me in the form of Kiesha. She has inspired me to dream. To believe that this store could become a real possibility. A possibility to do something I love, with someone whom I am certain has my best interest in mind, is equally passionate, and is a fantastic friend.
Spend some time on something everyday. Everyday do something for yourself. Keep working....



When is it too good?

Have you ever been in a position where you feel like things are too good to be true? It's a pretty uncomfortable place to be in. We are trained to believe that things can never get too good. Well, maybe we all aren't trained like that but I was. Always be on the lookout for the storm coming. What if the storm isn't coming? What if the place that you've made for yourself is as calm and peaceful as can be? Not realistic, but it sure does sound good.
It difficult to think that I could be in a position where everything is golden. Hard to imagine, which is partly why I'm trying to talk myself through it. Thinking through the possibilities is mind boggling.