Today Joy received her second of six treatments. Got to the hospital about 9 and left around 2..pretty much a full day's work. No lunch, no breaks. The treatment isn't that bad, as far as how it's administered. It's all done thru an IV. She handles things so well...amazing. Dr. Cardi came by to see how she was and give us the test results from her last urine/blood work. And the results...all is good. Kidney function is good, and the levels of protein are decreasing. Her weight is even up. I think she's in the 130's now. I'm not complaining!! I love it. Hope the weight stays...
We went to lunch after the treatment. Arthur's in Hyde Park. It's a nice little place to eat. We usually sit on the patio, but it was like 105 today!
Then we ran in a little boutique next door...the had some nice stuff. Got me to thinking that I've got to put some fire under all the different ideas I have. They aren't doing me any good w/o taking action on them. I've put limitations on myself b/c I don't think I can do everything myself, but I'm going to have to. That how I'm going to have to start. I am my best investment! I want to open up a boutique. Aimed at the older Hip Hop generation. Like 25-40? Jeans, sneakers, jackets, hats, shirts, pants, accessories. Shit, I can do that. Nice shit. Nice atmosphere, bangin music, books, cds, albums.
Imma get it poppin....watch!
Peace
24.8.07
18.8.07
Big fucking kid
Yo...I got a PS3 last week! Shit is crazy. Crazy. The games are unbelievable. The picture. Bananas. You can download music, movies, pictures. You can surf the internet. You can watch Blu-Ray disc movies(some new new shit). I've been playing into the morning hours. Can't stop. It's so much fun. I can play friends who have the system via the internet. So, I can play Craige in Dayton...from my living room. A beautiful thing! Trying to find more people I know, so that we can communicate this way. Staying in touch so to speak. Dudes just don't call dudes, but that's another story I suppose.
But this PS3 shit. Crazy.
Matter of fact, I gotta go play....
Oh, one last thing. If anyone ever reads this find the Essence magazine from September '07 and look back to the Virgo horoscope(my sign) and then read the In the Spirit editorial by Susan L. Taylor. She says among other things "The courage to love manufactures peace and puts an aura of protection around you. A kind and loving spirit is more powerful than anything walking on earth." Ain't that some shit...
But this PS3 shit. Crazy.
Matter of fact, I gotta go play....
Oh, one last thing. If anyone ever reads this find the Essence magazine from September '07 and look back to the Virgo horoscope(my sign) and then read the In the Spirit editorial by Susan L. Taylor. She says among other things "The courage to love manufactures peace and puts an aura of protection around you. A kind and loving spirit is more powerful than anything walking on earth." Ain't that some shit...
Golf is like life
The game features so many components of life. Patience, perseverance, softness, force, and a bunch of others...
The thing is that you can't have any of those emotions solely. You've got to use them all, or some, or some mixture of some and all. But how do you manage to incorporate all or some of these things in your game(life)? Let me tell you...it's not easy. Because at so many points in the game(life) you've got to determine how to most effectively use these talents. And every situation is different. Every shot and different shot. All over the course. Hills, valleys, water traps, sand traps, trees, grass, and a mean old monster called the putting green. And during any and all of these various obstacles, you will have to determine what talents you'll use...how much or how little. So you've got constant adversity on the course and you've got to find a way to make it as easy as possible. There's a place called the fairway...stay there!!!!!! It's grass is nice and it's clear of any trees. It's a direct route to the hole. That's what we're working towards....
Until you can pretty much guarantee a shot on the fairway, you're mind has to be totally in the game. Your swing(decisions) will affect what situation you end up in. Gotta get that swing(decisions) together. Gotta get that swing to be nice and easy. Smooth. Like butta!
Easier said than done. That swing is some hard shit to figure out. You've got to use your natural ability, but use it in a way that allows you to incorporate all of your talents(patience, perseverance...) And when that happens it's a wonderful feeling. Wonderful. So imagine that in life you made all the right decision and used all that you know to make those decisions. You'd end up on the fairway. Looking straight at the hole.
The thing is that you can't have any of those emotions solely. You've got to use them all, or some, or some mixture of some and all. But how do you manage to incorporate all or some of these things in your game(life)? Let me tell you...it's not easy. Because at so many points in the game(life) you've got to determine how to most effectively use these talents. And every situation is different. Every shot and different shot. All over the course. Hills, valleys, water traps, sand traps, trees, grass, and a mean old monster called the putting green. And during any and all of these various obstacles, you will have to determine what talents you'll use...how much or how little. So you've got constant adversity on the course and you've got to find a way to make it as easy as possible. There's a place called the fairway...stay there!!!!!! It's grass is nice and it's clear of any trees. It's a direct route to the hole. That's what we're working towards....
Until you can pretty much guarantee a shot on the fairway, you're mind has to be totally in the game. Your swing(decisions) will affect what situation you end up in. Gotta get that swing(decisions) together. Gotta get that swing to be nice and easy. Smooth. Like butta!
Easier said than done. That swing is some hard shit to figure out. You've got to use your natural ability, but use it in a way that allows you to incorporate all of your talents(patience, perseverance...) And when that happens it's a wonderful feeling. Wonderful. So imagine that in life you made all the right decision and used all that you know to make those decisions. You'd end up on the fairway. Looking straight at the hole.
11.7.07
The miracles of medicine
I think I need to try writing earlier in the day...I seem to always be writing at night? Wonder why that is?
I've completely missed my goal of being in shape by the time our vacation to SC came along. I'm really disappointed in myself and need to figure out a way to stay on track and do the things necessary for me to lose this gut. It's driving me crazy. Seems as the only solution is to work out in the morning before work. Yes, I said it before work. That would mean waking up at like 5am...crazy talk. But I've got to do something!
Joy's got to have a biopsy on her kidney Friday(It's Friday the 13th). Her last test results came back indicating that her protein levels have increased and the doctor wants to determine why that's happening. So, instead of just increasing her meds...he's taking an extra step and having this procedure done. Thanks, doc! At this point we don't know what the results will say. Maybe the type of Lupus has changed? Maybe it will just require more/different meds? I'm hoping that it isn't anything too major. For one, I want Joy to be healthy. Two, I want to go to SC for our first family vacation.
Her mother is coming down tomorrow, I wish it was Friday morning but what can I do. I'm just so damn uptight around them. Can't find a nice comfortable place...but she's coming for her daughter and I totally understand. Glad she'll be here to support Joy.
See you on the treadmill @ 5:15...
I've completely missed my goal of being in shape by the time our vacation to SC came along. I'm really disappointed in myself and need to figure out a way to stay on track and do the things necessary for me to lose this gut. It's driving me crazy. Seems as the only solution is to work out in the morning before work. Yes, I said it before work. That would mean waking up at like 5am...crazy talk. But I've got to do something!
Joy's got to have a biopsy on her kidney Friday(It's Friday the 13th). Her last test results came back indicating that her protein levels have increased and the doctor wants to determine why that's happening. So, instead of just increasing her meds...he's taking an extra step and having this procedure done. Thanks, doc! At this point we don't know what the results will say. Maybe the type of Lupus has changed? Maybe it will just require more/different meds? I'm hoping that it isn't anything too major. For one, I want Joy to be healthy. Two, I want to go to SC for our first family vacation.
Her mother is coming down tomorrow, I wish it was Friday morning but what can I do. I'm just so damn uptight around them. Can't find a nice comfortable place...but she's coming for her daughter and I totally understand. Glad she'll be here to support Joy.
See you on the treadmill @ 5:15...
21.6.07
She's back
Wifey made it home safe and sound this afternoon. And I'm extremely happy to have her back. I missed her laugh, smile, just her company. She seemed to have had a good time in Louisville, and brought home a wealth of information. Humana really has an investment in their employee's. It's wonderful to see, would be even better to participate in...seems as if there isn't room for anything at the agency.
Anyway, I got a Ali t-shirt from the Ali museum. It's nice...
Joy being back has some other significance. The nice before she left, nothing happened. No warm embrace, no snuggling, no good nice kiss, no sex. Now, my assumption is that when your partner leaves, you make love to them. It is also my assumption that upon your return you make love to them again. Because not only are you happy to see them, but you want to express your love for them...in more than words. You want to connect. These ideas have been communicated to wifey. She's forgotten or she just doesn't give a fuck. She promised to read a book on relationships that I've read, that I thought helped me understand her possible perspective. She took it out of town with her...didn't open it. Told me she took it, but didn't read it. If that's not giving a fuck, I don't know what is. Tell me to my face that you took a book that I've asked you to read...that you've promised to read...and didn't even bother to read any of it! WOW...
I often feel like this shouldn't be a complaint. That me not getting my sexual needs addressed shouldn't be a problem. I should just deal with it and be happy. I should accept not getting what I want because it's sex and its marriage and it's your wife and you've made a commitment to her and you're the man and what you have to say means shit and your needs are minimized by the fact that you are a man.
I tell her that she has all the fucking power. She has what I want, and is in total control. She's the sole distributor of her goods. They cannot be obtained without her permission. Not only her permission, but she has to want to give it to you. It's nothing that you can do to persuade her to give you some. She don't want to...she don't got to!
This is bullshit. I feel fucking helpless...
Everything else is GOLDEN though!!! She's the best thing that has ever happened to me in every other way...that's why I say that you can't expect a person to be EVERYTHING that you want/need them to be. And if you love that person then you should allow them to pursue outside parties to help in any area that you need help meeting wants/needs.
I just want to make love to my wife!
Anyway, I got a Ali t-shirt from the Ali museum. It's nice...
Joy being back has some other significance. The nice before she left, nothing happened. No warm embrace, no snuggling, no good nice kiss, no sex. Now, my assumption is that when your partner leaves, you make love to them. It is also my assumption that upon your return you make love to them again. Because not only are you happy to see them, but you want to express your love for them...in more than words. You want to connect. These ideas have been communicated to wifey. She's forgotten or she just doesn't give a fuck. She promised to read a book on relationships that I've read, that I thought helped me understand her possible perspective. She took it out of town with her...didn't open it. Told me she took it, but didn't read it. If that's not giving a fuck, I don't know what is. Tell me to my face that you took a book that I've asked you to read...that you've promised to read...and didn't even bother to read any of it! WOW...
I often feel like this shouldn't be a complaint. That me not getting my sexual needs addressed shouldn't be a problem. I should just deal with it and be happy. I should accept not getting what I want because it's sex and its marriage and it's your wife and you've made a commitment to her and you're the man and what you have to say means shit and your needs are minimized by the fact that you are a man.
I tell her that she has all the fucking power. She has what I want, and is in total control. She's the sole distributor of her goods. They cannot be obtained without her permission. Not only her permission, but she has to want to give it to you. It's nothing that you can do to persuade her to give you some. She don't want to...she don't got to!
This is bullshit. I feel fucking helpless...
Everything else is GOLDEN though!!! She's the best thing that has ever happened to me in every other way...that's why I say that you can't expect a person to be EVERYTHING that you want/need them to be. And if you love that person then you should allow them to pursue outside parties to help in any area that you need help meeting wants/needs.
I just want to make love to my wife!
19.6.07
Much to early
I just got a text from one of my best friends that our dude's mother passed away this past Sunday. I'm not in touch with dude, so I'm not sure if there were health issues or if this was sudden. What ever the circumstance, my heart is heavy. You know how you've got those friends that you don't necessarily stay in contact with, but when you see them it's always nothing but love? That's our relationship. Jarue is a great guy. Doing good things, just trying to go about life just like everyone...
His mother can't be too much older than my parents, which means she was late 50's maybe early 60's. She was a very nice lady. I didn't know her well, but our high school community was really close so I knew her...make you think about your parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins. Shit is crazy. Jarue's best friend(also a good friend of mine) Andre just had a child. Wonder if she was able to see him? No word on the funeral, but I'm going to try and go...
I'm home alone for a couple of days. Joy is out of town in Louisville for a work conference...wouldn't that be nice, if I were able to do that? Working for the Government does have it's downside...
She in a executive suite...hotel said that's what they had her in. Bullshit, I know. She says it's awesome!
It will be nice to have some time to myself. I think it will benefit her as well. Being together everyday can become boring and you start getting on each other's nerves. Hopefully she will come back horny...a brotha can dream can't he? Humana, her employer, seems to have soo many opportunities available...in different cities too. Tampa, Chicago, Miami to name a few. I want to move, I would move, but she's pretty luke warm about the idea and I don't think it will happen after kids...so Cincinnati might be home for some time. And just think, I didn't even want to come down to this muthafucka to begin with. If I only would have been able to go to Hampton...
Peace
His mother can't be too much older than my parents, which means she was late 50's maybe early 60's. She was a very nice lady. I didn't know her well, but our high school community was really close so I knew her...make you think about your parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins. Shit is crazy. Jarue's best friend(also a good friend of mine) Andre just had a child. Wonder if she was able to see him? No word on the funeral, but I'm going to try and go...
I'm home alone for a couple of days. Joy is out of town in Louisville for a work conference...wouldn't that be nice, if I were able to do that? Working for the Government does have it's downside...
She in a executive suite...hotel said that's what they had her in. Bullshit, I know. She says it's awesome!
It will be nice to have some time to myself. I think it will benefit her as well. Being together everyday can become boring and you start getting on each other's nerves. Hopefully she will come back horny...a brotha can dream can't he? Humana, her employer, seems to have soo many opportunities available...in different cities too. Tampa, Chicago, Miami to name a few. I want to move, I would move, but she's pretty luke warm about the idea and I don't think it will happen after kids...so Cincinnati might be home for some time. And just think, I didn't even want to come down to this muthafucka to begin with. If I only would have been able to go to Hampton...
Peace
15.6.07
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