4:45

I work from 8-4:45. Generally can't wait until 4:45. I pray for 4:45. Today was no different, however something did dawn on me....my attitude is shit when I get off work. My whole world view has a negative spin on it. I exit work wondering how the hell I'm going to maneuver myself into doing something else with my life. Wondering what the fuck our administration is doing. Wondering how the hell we ended up in such an adverse situation. I leave work bitter. Upset that things aren't being done. That decisions are being made that make no sense. That there is no accountability. Upset that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
We're being asked to do more with less, like I'm sure many other places are. The difference, I hope, is that other places of employment has management that has a clue about what is going on.

Excuse me miss

....but you is a BITCH! And I don't apologize. I just witnessed you yell at your child for no reason. I watched you look an absolute mess. I witnessed your friend also look a mess, and yell at her child for no reason, via cellphone. I witnessed you allow your child...no instruct your child to piss in the parking lot of a grocery store. Not your grocery store. A grocery store you just gave your money to. So, you give money to this business & also piss on it? And when the store begins to look like you've been pissing on it, your stank ass complains.
Yeah, I've pissed outside before. Behind some bushes, behind a building...when it was fucking necessary! And my momma certainly didn't instruct me to do so, and if she did she also instructed me that doing that shit was totally unacceptable. Anyway....

Why do you think this behavior is okay? Wait, don't answer. Let me ask you in a different way.

Hey BITCH, what the fuck is yo stupid ass doing? You dumb BITCH, you don't let this little boy piss outside in the grocery store parking lot & you don't yell & cuss at him. He is a child. You need to teach him to be better than you. To do better than you. And because of you he should be given an opportunity to be better. But yo stupid ass don't understand. Don't be mad at your son. He ain't mad at you, and he has every right to be! He should be pissed at you....wait he might grow up and be pissed, and exhibit some fucked up behavior in his relationships with other women. BITCH you stupid!

What is we gon do?

Will we stand up for change? Will we ask of ourselves, what we ask of Sen. Obama? Will we choose to be held accountable? Will we be understanding of one another? Will we respect one another? Will we communicate? Will we work towards solutions? Will we embrace the significance of now, and allow this optimistic feeling in the air to inspire us to become better? Smarter, funnier, more considerate, patient, honest, understanding, thoughtful, stern, healthy, compassionate, playful...

Can we as people agree that we can do better and choose to chart a course that we agree is the best way to get us there?

You can do it too

I'm back at it! Well, I never really left but there was about a month where I wasn't really focused on my grand idea of opening the sneaker boutique. The rigors of my current job has run me back into the arms of my dream. Fuck working for the county. It blows. Sooooo, gotta get my store off the ground and get shit poppin. Talked to both my partners and Craige says he's still in. Kiesha, I'm a little unsure about. She has some things going on that may force her to be unable to participate? We'll see what happens. At any rate, I'm moving forward.

Got online real quick and came across a wealth of information. Important information that I had been trying to wind. Today, I found it in bundles! Too much for me to even get to in one evening. I'm looking forward to looking further into things and finding out as much as I can.

Saw some stores that I can pull ideas from, got some labels that I could carry, looked at what the normal store hours are(can you say 12-7 Mon-Sat) sounds golden doesn't it? I would wake up with the biggest smile everyday I can go open up my store or go to do something for the benefit of my store. And I look forward to the work, if it means that I'm responsible for me and I'm calling the shots.

Think about it. 12-7 would be almost perfect. If/when Joy and I have a kid, I can stay with him for most of the morning, so our daycare costs could potentially be cheaper than if we had the kid at daycare all day. Joy will love the idea that my idea could save money...lol.

Oh, and I submitted my idea about a calendar to some websites, so maybe if that idea gets off the ground opening the store will be much easier cause I'll have another stream of income.

'If you believe, than you achieve. Just look at me'-Tupac

Peace

What's happenin, now

I think I've figured out what's going on in a majority of american's. They have whole heartily attached themselves to an idea that we can be better. Individually and collectively. The idea that we should try looking out for our neighbors and help each other out along the way. We realize that the ways in which we have been operating in the past is not working right now. We realize that the more ideas we present, for the solutions we need, the better. Lets listen to pretty much everything and make a good fucking decision for the MAJORITY of people(we are the majority now) We are intrigued by the idea of what we could possibly do TOGETHER. Although we still lack the confidence to address our ism issues, I think we are moving in a direction that will make us reconsider things....everything.
And to those that are no in the MINORITY....fuck you! You've had your turn. It's are turn and get used to it cause we young! We smart. And cause of your fuck ups, we know better. Watch us do better.....
And you know what one of the best things is....our son's and daughter's will now have a true belief that they can be and do ANYTHING.

Word up

Think, just think.....

Recently, I've been following politics much more intently than at any other time in my life. One, because of the obvious. Two, because as I age it's interesting to listen to other adults voice their opinions and laugh at how unbelievably unreasonable many peoples voices actually are. Republican, Democrat, Independent, Conservative, Liberal....doesn't matter. Too many of these political people seem to either really not have a clue or just flat out don't fucking care. And by care, I mean they don't CARE. Not about the things that really matter, like educating our children(and adults), creating a safe environment for everyone, establishing equal opportunities to each and every human being, or working towards a common goal that helps more people to achieve a significant level of happiness as opposed to feeling left out of the 'good life', not about providing opportunities and positive life experiences, not about sharing in the wealth that is America.
As a kid, I wanted to be successful. To have money, a house, a car....etc. But what I also wanted was for all of my friends and people I knew to have those things.
Why does the majority seem so selfish? What is it about the condition of poor, disadvantaged people they don't understand? If it's understood that an education is the key to success, but the schools that provide the education to those that are poor and disadvantaged are known to be fucked up then what does the majority suppose those people do? And what about when those that are poor and disadvantaged propel themselves enough to be in a position to enter higher education? They are generally burdened with an absurd amount of debt just to attend. And say those folks don't crumble under the mountain of debt and make it out of that institution of higher education. What then? They become employed and receive pay at a lesser rate than their majority co-workers because those that are poor and disadvantaged happen to be minorities(black, brown, women).
And I'm not saying that this scenario is the rule for all poor, disadvantaged people but the point is that in America it shouldn't be the rule for anyone. And if definitely should be understood by the majority as being fucked up and addressed in a real and honest way......

And think....now there is actually a politician willing to do something about this shit! How do you not support Obama? Go ahead just say it....cause he's Black. Say it! I'll respect you more if you just admit it. Stop hiding behind the bullshit rhetoric and say that you can't vote for a Black man. Cause ain't no fucking way that anybody with half a brain would vote for John McCain. No way.

So stop talking about his wife, stop talking about his youth or inexperience, quit talking about where he came from, what his old pastor said and just come out and say it.....you sorry, scared punks! Say you won't vote for him cause he's a brotha! It's better than saying you think McCain's vision is better.

Peace

Daydreaming and I'm thinking of you

Today we received some good news. In about 12 weeks we can begin to try and have a baby. Up until this point we hadn't been able to even think about it because Joy was taking medicine that would have had detrimental affects on a baby, so we couldn't chance it. She's doing so well now that that medication can be substituted. While continuing to keep her healthy, this other medication she can take while pregnant. Wonderful news! We are very excited about the possibilities. About knowing our day for children is coming. For a while, it seemed like it may not come. We weren't necessarily ready for kids, but having the option to is comforting.
We may not even get pregnant right away, but I plan to have loads of fun trying!
Funny though....I'm already thinking about money and time off from work, about following thru with my dream of opening the sneaker boutique. Thinking about moving to a better place for us to raise a child....a more progressive city. Better schools, friendlier more diverse people. More things to do. More things for a child to see. Maybe when I put it in those terms to Joy she'll give the idea more thought. But that's down the road....

In the near future the goal is to get into much better shape! I know that because of her Lupus the pregnancy will be difficult with some possible bumps in the road. I want to be physically prepared to deal with those things as they arise. Physically prepared and more healthy to stand up to the demands of pregnancy and a new born baby.
I need to get into the groove in the next 3 months. Really get into the swing of working out and eating better. Hopefully I can stay focused and motivated and reach my goal.
Also in the near future I must continue to spend time creating a business plan for the store and following thru to make it a reality. I have the work ethic, I can grasp the details regarding running a successful store, I have the ideas, the vision. I got it...just need the right peoples help and the right location where I can thrive.

I could possibly have a pregnant wife in 3 months....wow. That shit is MAJOR! Me with a kid....wow. Pretty unbelievable shit...

I wouldn't mind it taking a little bit to get her pregnant....why not enjoy trying for awhile.

Peace