15.6.07
Who's got an idea?
TGIF! Man, it was a long week. Work is a monster lately. Not really sure what it is, but things just aren't like they were when I started and that's only been a year ago. When I figure it out, I'll let you know...
Anyway, on our way to Penn Station, wifey says that she has been thinking of getting into real estate. Get a piece of property and lease it...something like that. I'm game, been game and been telling her that this is something we need to look into. Thing is...is she doesn't listen to me. She may listen, but she's always got to have a second opinion prior to expressing her interest or disinterest in what I'm talking about. So, she's gotten a second opinion that is similar to what I've been saying and...BAM! Now we're thinking about getting into real estate. It got thru, doesn't matter how it happened, she's on board. If this works we could potentially earn some money and establish ourselves financially. Become secure. Dare I say comfortable. We've just got to be determined and formulate our ideas into action. I'm excited about the excitement that she seems to have. None of my other ideas(which may not have garnered a second opinion in my favor)have made her this optimistic...and I think I've got great ideas...
Got to go...got moves to make. Peace.
Anyway, on our way to Penn Station, wifey says that she has been thinking of getting into real estate. Get a piece of property and lease it...something like that. I'm game, been game and been telling her that this is something we need to look into. Thing is...is she doesn't listen to me. She may listen, but she's always got to have a second opinion prior to expressing her interest or disinterest in what I'm talking about. So, she's gotten a second opinion that is similar to what I've been saying and...BAM! Now we're thinking about getting into real estate. It got thru, doesn't matter how it happened, she's on board. If this works we could potentially earn some money and establish ourselves financially. Become secure. Dare I say comfortable. We've just got to be determined and formulate our ideas into action. I'm excited about the excitement that she seems to have. None of my other ideas(which may not have garnered a second opinion in my favor)have made her this optimistic...and I think I've got great ideas...
Got to go...got moves to make. Peace.
9.6.07
Extra room
I've finally gotten some patio furniture. Yep, it all went down Thursday. Pretty nice set for not alot of money...always a good combo! My brother helped me put it up(my 4 year old niece too). Got out here on it last night(Friday) with my homeboy and his son, and again tonight with my brother and our boy. Put some burgers and chicken on the grill, had some brew, and a little treat...wonderful day. Wasn't too hot, good company, food, comfort, sitting out on my new patio furniture. The pleasures of life...
My wife was at a co-workers wedding. A man that used to be homosexual, but now's straight? A the woman who he's marrying is fully aware of his past a gay man. Sounds like some shit on T.V., but life does immate art.
I hope I can get to know more of my neighbors this summer. Many of them seem to be very secluded. I'm a pretty private guy(you're writing a fucking blog, dude) but these folks be shut in. Blinds closed, front doors with screen doors that aren't open, never outside and if they are and you pass they might not speak. Why can't we speak? Is it that serious that you don't want to know the people you're living next to? You'd rather not know the person you're living next to? I'm going to have force them to speak. Get all up in their personal space. Go into their yards. Knock on their doors. I feel like I'm an outsider because we are empty nesters.
I'll be using my patio to do more of this in the very near future. Peace.
My wife was at a co-workers wedding. A man that used to be homosexual, but now's straight? A the woman who he's marrying is fully aware of his past a gay man. Sounds like some shit on T.V., but life does immate art.
I hope I can get to know more of my neighbors this summer. Many of them seem to be very secluded. I'm a pretty private guy(you're writing a fucking blog, dude) but these folks be shut in. Blinds closed, front doors with screen doors that aren't open, never outside and if they are and you pass they might not speak. Why can't we speak? Is it that serious that you don't want to know the people you're living next to? You'd rather not know the person you're living next to? I'm going to have force them to speak. Get all up in their personal space. Go into their yards. Knock on their doors. I feel like I'm an outsider because we are empty nesters.
I'll be using my patio to do more of this in the very near future. Peace.
29.5.07
Damn it, Man
My wife went to buy some make-up this weekend. The first trip didn't result in a look that she nor I liked, so we went to the spot together the next day. This time the make-up artist got it right. And my wife looked like a million bucks. Now me being a man, I want to fuck all the time...regardless of how she looks(just about regardless of how she looks), but with this new make-up she's HOT. I can't stop complementing her on how good she looks. She's liking the new look herself.
She picks out a sexy little dress to wear to work, and looks better today than yesterday. I tell her before I leave the house how good she looks. I send emails telling her how much I'd been thinking about her, and how much I loved her with this make-up on. She let me know she liked it, and I could tell she was more confident.
I continue to compliment her...because I truly am in aw. Telling her how I can't wait to see her after work, how I want to get under her dress. She's seemingly going along with my advances, but please be advised that any conversation regarding anything sexual while at work is simply talk to her. NOTHING ever sticks. No matter how many suggestions I make, I'm rarely successful in putting her in the 'mood'. To the point where it's almost not worth the effort...
Anyway, back to today. I'm so smitten, I send flowers to her job. A nice little bouquet of something..she gets them and says how sweet I am and how much she loves and appreciates me. Those things are good, but I'm looking to get some pussy! So, I send the flowers. I cook dinner, do a load of laundry, put up some laundry, take her nail polish off. Not because I expect something, but because those are things I do because they need to be done. Thing is earlier today on the elevator a co-worker is complaining to me about how she's got to go home and do this and that. To which I say, oh...I do x,y,z. She's like can I clone you. My husband doesn't do anything around the house. I know this to be true of most men, cause hey I'm a man. But again, I do thing because they are necessary and I would never want the entire burden of maintaining a home to fall on the shoulders of my wife.
I digress...
The point is that throughout the day I thought I was laying plans to get some pussy. She's talking about putting the dress back on after her shower, so I can get under it. She's talking about 'you must really want some' referring to the flowers. By 7, I know there's no sex in the plans for tonight...like too many other nights. And I can't understand. And I try. I've gotten a book, I look online for reasons and remedies, I try talking to her about what I need. Nothing clicks. She doesn't understand. Doesn't understand the rejection. Doesn't understand the longing. Doesn't understand the desire. Doesn't understand the need. Doesn't understand the want. Doesn't understand that sex is something a 27 year old man needs. And I understand that she's tired. I understand that the meds may be the cause. I understand that she doesn't want to as much. I understand that she's critical of herself regarding this(or so she says). I understand that she wishes her desire was greater.
And all this damn understanding leaves me pissed, cause I feel like I should be able to get some fucking pussy when I want!
And I'm writing just to get this shit out, so I don't fucking wake her up and go off. So I don't go to sleep mad.
So, in case you've missed it. I've got a hot wife, hows even hotter with this new make-up and confidence that goes along with it. But she doesn't want to sleep with me. How can a man not begin to think 'it's got to be me'. Maybe I'm not pleasing her? Makes sense..I wouldn't want to do something all the time I don't enjoy, but she swears this isn't it. THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM! Doesn't the bible say something about your wife and sex? Why don't we follow that fucking rule!!!! Why do I have to suffer, because I'm a man and should just have to deal with it. Why shouldn't I be able to fulfill my sexual needs...with or without my wife, if she's not willing or is unable. What the fuck do I do? In my relationship sex is expendable...not treated as a necessity. Not treated as a vital part of the relationship.
DAMN IT, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
She picks out a sexy little dress to wear to work, and looks better today than yesterday. I tell her before I leave the house how good she looks. I send emails telling her how much I'd been thinking about her, and how much I loved her with this make-up on. She let me know she liked it, and I could tell she was more confident.
I continue to compliment her...because I truly am in aw. Telling her how I can't wait to see her after work, how I want to get under her dress. She's seemingly going along with my advances, but please be advised that any conversation regarding anything sexual while at work is simply talk to her. NOTHING ever sticks. No matter how many suggestions I make, I'm rarely successful in putting her in the 'mood'. To the point where it's almost not worth the effort...
Anyway, back to today. I'm so smitten, I send flowers to her job. A nice little bouquet of something..she gets them and says how sweet I am and how much she loves and appreciates me. Those things are good, but I'm looking to get some pussy! So, I send the flowers. I cook dinner, do a load of laundry, put up some laundry, take her nail polish off. Not because I expect something, but because those are things I do because they need to be done. Thing is earlier today on the elevator a co-worker is complaining to me about how she's got to go home and do this and that. To which I say, oh...I do x,y,z. She's like can I clone you. My husband doesn't do anything around the house. I know this to be true of most men, cause hey I'm a man. But again, I do thing because they are necessary and I would never want the entire burden of maintaining a home to fall on the shoulders of my wife.
I digress...
The point is that throughout the day I thought I was laying plans to get some pussy. She's talking about putting the dress back on after her shower, so I can get under it. She's talking about 'you must really want some' referring to the flowers. By 7, I know there's no sex in the plans for tonight...like too many other nights. And I can't understand. And I try. I've gotten a book, I look online for reasons and remedies, I try talking to her about what I need. Nothing clicks. She doesn't understand. Doesn't understand the rejection. Doesn't understand the longing. Doesn't understand the desire. Doesn't understand the need. Doesn't understand the want. Doesn't understand that sex is something a 27 year old man needs. And I understand that she's tired. I understand that the meds may be the cause. I understand that she doesn't want to as much. I understand that she's critical of herself regarding this(or so she says). I understand that she wishes her desire was greater.
And all this damn understanding leaves me pissed, cause I feel like I should be able to get some fucking pussy when I want!
And I'm writing just to get this shit out, so I don't fucking wake her up and go off. So I don't go to sleep mad.
So, in case you've missed it. I've got a hot wife, hows even hotter with this new make-up and confidence that goes along with it. But she doesn't want to sleep with me. How can a man not begin to think 'it's got to be me'. Maybe I'm not pleasing her? Makes sense..I wouldn't want to do something all the time I don't enjoy, but she swears this isn't it. THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM! Doesn't the bible say something about your wife and sex? Why don't we follow that fucking rule!!!! Why do I have to suffer, because I'm a man and should just have to deal with it. Why shouldn't I be able to fulfill my sexual needs...with or without my wife, if she's not willing or is unable. What the fuck do I do? In my relationship sex is expendable...not treated as a necessity. Not treated as a vital part of the relationship.
DAMN IT, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
3.5.07
Fun in the Sun
This time next week, I'll probably be in bed. Resting up for an early trip to the airport with my sights set on sunny Florida. Our friends are getting married on the beach...Cocoa Beach! We can't wait. The wedding is on the 13th, we'll get the on the 11th. Our anniversary is the 7th so it's kinda like our anniversary gift to each other/vacation. I can't wait!
We've been trying to prepare some this week with little success. So like every other person who readies for a trip, we'll be doing the last minute thing...so I'll probably end up not sleeping at all come this time next week. I've been making lists of what I think we need: lotion, sunscreen, condoms, toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo, did I say condoms? I'm hoping FL brings out the freak in my wife, we'll see what happens. I've been throwing hints her way, but doesn't seem like she's taking the bait. Not at this point anyway...let me stop talking about it so I don't get my hopes up and get disappointed. Wouldn't you hate to be disappointed while in sunny FL?
The opportunity to go to FL is a blessing. We've saved our money, and luckily wifey knows someone who used to work at the airport, so we got buddy passes. I've been to FL once before, but it wasn't that great of an experience. It was Black Beach or the Black College Reunion. Whatever the title, it was CRAZY. Boys and Girls acting a damn fool, plus I was sooooooooooooo high the whole time, I don't remember much. Just trying to get my dude out of jail cause he had some herb on him. I think that's how we spent most of the time. Oh, and I remember there were about 10 dudes to a room! Cats sleeping on the floor, 3-4 to a bed. CRAZY. And the women...no way were any of those ho's touching me. No thanks to a girl who found being groped all day by packs of young men fun.
Traveling reminds me of a time my family went to Atlanta. I was probably 14-15, and my cousin had gotten a job at the Hyatt or some fancy hotel. She put us up in a really nice room with a wonderful view. While looking out over Atlanta, I thought to myself...this is something that every kid should have the opportunity to experience. A nice hotel, and the opportunity to see something different in the world. Every trip provides something different. Another way of life, different culture, different ways of talking, thinking, drinking, partying. Experience is the best teacher without a doubt. And I'm on the verge of another experience. Can't wait to learn something.
I'll leave you with this...I think I'm going to put it on a tshirt. 'If you aren't SMART, then you are DUMB' sums it up don't you think?
We've been trying to prepare some this week with little success. So like every other person who readies for a trip, we'll be doing the last minute thing...so I'll probably end up not sleeping at all come this time next week. I've been making lists of what I think we need: lotion, sunscreen, condoms, toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo, did I say condoms? I'm hoping FL brings out the freak in my wife, we'll see what happens. I've been throwing hints her way, but doesn't seem like she's taking the bait. Not at this point anyway...let me stop talking about it so I don't get my hopes up and get disappointed. Wouldn't you hate to be disappointed while in sunny FL?
The opportunity to go to FL is a blessing. We've saved our money, and luckily wifey knows someone who used to work at the airport, so we got buddy passes. I've been to FL once before, but it wasn't that great of an experience. It was Black Beach or the Black College Reunion. Whatever the title, it was CRAZY. Boys and Girls acting a damn fool, plus I was sooooooooooooo high the whole time, I don't remember much. Just trying to get my dude out of jail cause he had some herb on him. I think that's how we spent most of the time. Oh, and I remember there were about 10 dudes to a room! Cats sleeping on the floor, 3-4 to a bed. CRAZY. And the women...no way were any of those ho's touching me. No thanks to a girl who found being groped all day by packs of young men fun.
Traveling reminds me of a time my family went to Atlanta. I was probably 14-15, and my cousin had gotten a job at the Hyatt or some fancy hotel. She put us up in a really nice room with a wonderful view. While looking out over Atlanta, I thought to myself...this is something that every kid should have the opportunity to experience. A nice hotel, and the opportunity to see something different in the world. Every trip provides something different. Another way of life, different culture, different ways of talking, thinking, drinking, partying. Experience is the best teacher without a doubt. And I'm on the verge of another experience. Can't wait to learn something.
I'll leave you with this...I think I'm going to put it on a tshirt. 'If you aren't SMART, then you are DUMB' sums it up don't you think?
6.4.07
Gotta go...gotta leave
Life is a BITCH! You never know what might happen. Change is the only constant, which makes for one hell of a ride. All of my life I've felt as if I was an 'old soul' as they call it. I was somehow more mature than kids my age. Guess you could say it had something to do with having a brother 10 years my senior and parents who were about 30 when they had me. Whatever way you cut it, I was always more comfortable with older people than I was with people my age...they just didn't get it and it frustrated me, cause I couldn't explain 'it' to them. Now I'm 27, and have determined that 'it' was the grown folks business other kids parents told them they had no business listening to.
When I was about 7,8,9 my parents were going thru a really tough time. My brother was almost out of the house, so my mom talked to me alot about how she was feeling. I think then is when I chose to treat my wife the exact opposite of what was going on with her and my father. He was drinking heavily, and they argued constantly. There was no affection, no kisses or hugs between them. No romance...nothing. I would follow my mother around like a lost puppy thinking that if I was by her side, somehow I could make things better. Maybe if I was right there for my father to see, he wouldn't yell at her, or break the kitchen table, or knock the pictures off the wall, or throw some shit out the door. Me being by her side obviously didn't help. My mom wasn't big on arguing with my father, so she would just take whatever bullshit he was saying and keep it moving. Shit, she had kids to raise and a house to take care of. Who's got time for bullshit.
She would talk to me about leaving. About moving to Cali where her best friend, Marsha lived. I was down for the move, my brother wasn't...so we stayed. He wanted to graduate high school at what would later be my alma mater. Things improved I guess, there was less yelling, cussing, fussing. And I was getting older and bigger. By the time I was 13 I was bigger than both my parents. At this point I really felt like I could protect my mom, if dad was tripping. Physically maybe I could have. Not emotionally. The topic of mom leaving has come up a handful of time since then. Dad's been diagnosed with Depression. He doesn't really manage well. He's still drinking and doesn't let the fucking therapist do her job. Mom's talking about leaving again. I can't tell her anything but to do what makes her happy. She's endured enough. They've been married for like 37 years. It's time for her to be happy. For someone to be unselfish enough to recognize that she is an angel. The absolute best woman in the world..hands down. No other woman is even close, and I'm sure there are some great women, but they aren't my mom.
What happens to dad if she leaves thought? He'll either lose it or come to the realization that he has to stop drinking and tackle his depression. He has to realize what he has. Dad's not a bad guy, he's just battling with some issues within himself that hasn't allowed him to enjoy his life. He's had a hand in raising two pretty decent men. He's taught me how to be a man and what I needed to do to be a productive member of society, but he hasn't always taken his own advise.
Divorce or separation is a difficult thing to swallow. Especially after 37 years. What do they do without each other? Where do they live? How do they survive on their own? Well dad anyway, being that mom does everything to maintain the house.
Wifey's parents are coming down this weekend, and I'm contemplating letting them in on what's going on with my parents, but I have a gut feeling that that isn't a good idea. I feel like they will pass judgement and look at us with even more of a superior scowl, and I just can't deal with that. I've got to act like nothings on my mind and everything is cool, not to mention Easter dinner is at my brothers house where everyone will be. I've got no idea what to do.
I don't know how to talk to my dad about these issues. I've never done it before, but I don't want him to continue living his life like this. I want him to conquer the depression and show my mom just how much he loves her, cause I do know that he does. Between what he told me to do and what I decided I wasn't going to do that I saw him do, I think I've become a pretty good husband. Damn, life's a BITCH!
When I was about 7,8,9 my parents were going thru a really tough time. My brother was almost out of the house, so my mom talked to me alot about how she was feeling. I think then is when I chose to treat my wife the exact opposite of what was going on with her and my father. He was drinking heavily, and they argued constantly. There was no affection, no kisses or hugs between them. No romance...nothing. I would follow my mother around like a lost puppy thinking that if I was by her side, somehow I could make things better. Maybe if I was right there for my father to see, he wouldn't yell at her, or break the kitchen table, or knock the pictures off the wall, or throw some shit out the door. Me being by her side obviously didn't help. My mom wasn't big on arguing with my father, so she would just take whatever bullshit he was saying and keep it moving. Shit, she had kids to raise and a house to take care of. Who's got time for bullshit.
She would talk to me about leaving. About moving to Cali where her best friend, Marsha lived. I was down for the move, my brother wasn't...so we stayed. He wanted to graduate high school at what would later be my alma mater. Things improved I guess, there was less yelling, cussing, fussing. And I was getting older and bigger. By the time I was 13 I was bigger than both my parents. At this point I really felt like I could protect my mom, if dad was tripping. Physically maybe I could have. Not emotionally. The topic of mom leaving has come up a handful of time since then. Dad's been diagnosed with Depression. He doesn't really manage well. He's still drinking and doesn't let the fucking therapist do her job. Mom's talking about leaving again. I can't tell her anything but to do what makes her happy. She's endured enough. They've been married for like 37 years. It's time for her to be happy. For someone to be unselfish enough to recognize that she is an angel. The absolute best woman in the world..hands down. No other woman is even close, and I'm sure there are some great women, but they aren't my mom.
What happens to dad if she leaves thought? He'll either lose it or come to the realization that he has to stop drinking and tackle his depression. He has to realize what he has. Dad's not a bad guy, he's just battling with some issues within himself that hasn't allowed him to enjoy his life. He's had a hand in raising two pretty decent men. He's taught me how to be a man and what I needed to do to be a productive member of society, but he hasn't always taken his own advise.
Divorce or separation is a difficult thing to swallow. Especially after 37 years. What do they do without each other? Where do they live? How do they survive on their own? Well dad anyway, being that mom does everything to maintain the house.
Wifey's parents are coming down this weekend, and I'm contemplating letting them in on what's going on with my parents, but I have a gut feeling that that isn't a good idea. I feel like they will pass judgement and look at us with even more of a superior scowl, and I just can't deal with that. I've got to act like nothings on my mind and everything is cool, not to mention Easter dinner is at my brothers house where everyone will be. I've got no idea what to do.
I don't know how to talk to my dad about these issues. I've never done it before, but I don't want him to continue living his life like this. I want him to conquer the depression and show my mom just how much he loves her, cause I do know that he does. Between what he told me to do and what I decided I wasn't going to do that I saw him do, I think I've become a pretty good husband. Damn, life's a BITCH!
1.4.07
Beautiful Day
Today was almost perfect outside. Sun shinning, nice breeze, and a temperature that was just right. I wish I lived somewhere this type of weather was the rule and not the exception.
It's been awhile since I've written, and I can't really explain why. Maybe, I've actually been busy? We have been doing more 'stuff' lately...not just in the house looking at each other.
Yesterday we attempted to put knobs and pulls on the cabinets in the kitchen. Our efforts are incomplete to say the least. My brother was supposed to come help today, but never made it...Today we struck out t20o the driving range, but it was gone when we got there. I was pissed, I wanted to get my golf on, guess I need to find a new spot. I'm supposed to be taking lessons before our trip in July(if I don't I'll be on the course looking completely ridiculous). Since the driving range was closed, we went to Lowes to look at BBQ grills, then had lunch, then back to Lowes to purchase a grill(the one we have was messed up). Right before the purchase of a brand new grill, I found a replacement part to fix the grill we have...$20 bucks instead of $200! Can't beat that. Came home and got busy...cleaning my car. I love for my car to be clean, but with all the work they are doing in my neighborhood, it's hard to keep clean. Washing my car is a joyous occasion. Maybe it's because I watched my dad do it? I love it...washing the outside, then the precision care for the inside, windows, and then the tires/rims(I gotta get some chrome 20inch rims). Throw a air freshener in for good measure. Priceless...
Also car related, I've got to get my damn bumper fixed! It's been over a year with that damn ding, and I can't take it anymore. Mom knows someone in Springboro, so I guess I'll check him out. Cause I know the dealership will rape me if I have them do it, hell I can't even get out of there for an oil change w/o paying $100. I hit 100k miles a couple of weeks ago and needs some maintenance done. Overall, the LS runs like a champ! I love my car, and want to keep it for as long as possible. Wait till I get them 20's on it!!! Maybe by the time we make the trip to SC in July. Gotta be fresh when you go out of town...
Joy's out of town for work tomorrow...let me go see if I can get some ;-)
It's been awhile since I've written, and I can't really explain why. Maybe, I've actually been busy? We have been doing more 'stuff' lately...not just in the house looking at each other.
Yesterday we attempted to put knobs and pulls on the cabinets in the kitchen. Our efforts are incomplete to say the least. My brother was supposed to come help today, but never made it...Today we struck out t20o the driving range, but it was gone when we got there. I was pissed, I wanted to get my golf on, guess I need to find a new spot. I'm supposed to be taking lessons before our trip in July(if I don't I'll be on the course looking completely ridiculous). Since the driving range was closed, we went to Lowes to look at BBQ grills, then had lunch, then back to Lowes to purchase a grill(the one we have was messed up). Right before the purchase of a brand new grill, I found a replacement part to fix the grill we have...$20 bucks instead of $200! Can't beat that. Came home and got busy...cleaning my car. I love for my car to be clean, but with all the work they are doing in my neighborhood, it's hard to keep clean. Washing my car is a joyous occasion. Maybe it's because I watched my dad do it? I love it...washing the outside, then the precision care for the inside, windows, and then the tires/rims(I gotta get some chrome 20inch rims). Throw a air freshener in for good measure. Priceless...
Also car related, I've got to get my damn bumper fixed! It's been over a year with that damn ding, and I can't take it anymore. Mom knows someone in Springboro, so I guess I'll check him out. Cause I know the dealership will rape me if I have them do it, hell I can't even get out of there for an oil change w/o paying $100. I hit 100k miles a couple of weeks ago and needs some maintenance done. Overall, the LS runs like a champ! I love my car, and want to keep it for as long as possible. Wait till I get them 20's on it!!! Maybe by the time we make the trip to SC in July. Gotta be fresh when you go out of town...
Joy's out of town for work tomorrow...let me go see if I can get some ;-)
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